"She says she 'prays for the President.' I don't believe her, not even close."— some dude who was recently lucky to have a jury of which 52% were, alas, his peers, and who prays all the damn time I'm sure, something like this

"Hey, here I am, solemn occasion, big prayer, the best.

"You know I'm a fan... I always tell people what a good job You're doing... You'll see they're catching on... we love it. [sniffs]

"You know, I prayed before my inauguration. Big day, lotta people, the greatest, everyone says it's the biggest ever. Couldn't have done it without you, although they say I do it all myself, and they're wrong, I do do a lot of it myself, not all, but some, a lot. [sniffs]

"Some people don't like it, and you might hear some people saying some evil, terrible things about me, they said I did this and that, and I'm here to tell you not to worry about it. I mean, don't believe you hear— and what you hear, too.

"And you know they can't help it, so of course you'll want to be merciful with those people, they're beautiful, we love them, nothing bad needs to happen to them, although if something happens, who knows. [makes surreptitious "slaying of the firstborn" gesture, sniffs]

"OK, I have time for one more question."